Nashville in the days of CMA

Sometimes I forget I live in Music City U.S.A. and then I get out of the house.

Music City.

Country Music Capital.

Country...wanna bees.

Kate had a job last Saturday and for some unfathomable reason we thought it would be a good idea to follow her to work.

I still don't really know why we all ended up at Macy's in Green Hills for 2 hours...but...we...did...

Kate is smirking because after I parked the car I came down the escalator and asked where the models were. Then I brought the camera to my eye and...

I thought she was a mannequin. I don't shop much.

I wasn't the only person that thought she was a mannequin. See how everyone is ignoring her? Part of that is because of the foolishness going on over to the right but part of it is because they didn't think she was real either.

Macy's version of the red carpet needed some ropes to hold back the riff-raff.

Modeling wasn't the only action happening in at Macy's. Here's Diana getting a free manicure with a Country Music wanna bee.

See how Macy's solves the little problem of breaking a mannequin arm while dressing it?

Is that how you solve the problem at Anthropologie?

Oh, did I tell you this was the Saturday before the CMA Awards?

Did I tell you that Macy's was having a drawing for free tickets to the event?

Did I tell you that all you had to do was perform?

Yep. that's the foolishness of which I spoke previously.

To give this woman credit she was in her late 60's and finished her dance number with a jump that ended in the splits. AND she got up and walked away afterwards.

This one is trying her best to channel Taylor Swift, I think. I don't really know what Taylor Swift sounds like (I am sure it is not this)

but I think maybe if she were poor and blind she'd dress this way.

There is no way this outfit and performance just happened. She wasn't in the mall shopping and decided to sing some Karaoke. She planned this outfit and performance for days.

I can't begin to tell you how sad that made me...nor can I tell you how I felt about standing there and watching the train wreck...over and over and over.

Once again sharing the red carpet. this time with waddlers.

Yeah, they were REALLY serious with the CMA/red carpet theme.

I watched dozens of shoppers pose here and get their picture taken with a cell phone

so I had to get a shot of Kate.

They had lots of free things going on during the Karaoke contest.

They had food.

They had temporary tattoos.

They had manicures.

and only in Nashville...

They had feathers for your hair.

These women were rocking the feather look while they waited to perform.

Of course, some people had their hair professionally coiffed before they left Oklahoma in order to be a Macy's for their chance at country stardom.

No lie.

This girl came from Oklahoma with her family...

and hoped to be discovered at the Green Hills Macy singing Karaoke.

Here the Taylor Swift wanna-bee is asking Kate and the surly model if they have spray tans.

I think the reply was, "No, you can tell because we are not orange."

These people are being recruited to perform next on the Karaoke stage.

I told them they'd have to walk home

and since Hannah is the only one that can walk...

Someone actually bought one of these expensive dresses because of how good it looked on Kate. Really?

It looked good on Kate?

Let's face it, vomit would look good on Kate.

That dress is not going to look the same on you, crazy lady.

Speaking of crazy, this was my favorite act.

You really had to be there to appreciate the full affect

but the next shot will give you an idea of how terrific they actually were...

Can you imagine standing in front of a full length mirror and saying,

"Yes, this is exactly the look I am going for! I know Curb records will wanna sign this!

Look out Nashville! Here I come!"

Here's the requisite Vogue shot.

Exclusive dressing room for models only!

Kate's personal space complete with photo and name on the door,

and that's my experience at Kate's Macy's modeling job.